Thoughts

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Have you ever been overwhelmed with thoughts, emotions, or ideas? I’ll just assume your human and you have I think. As they pile up, each new thought bounces radically, like an over-inflated ball. They bounce, and shake, and toss themselves to and fro with no remorse. Some are larger, some more fleeting, but all are made of the same critical compound. Creative spark as the core, wrapped in a fabric of Perspective. Often, two of these little idea spheres may collide as they venture randomly in the open void of the mind, and where as sometimes the reaction is harmless, other times unfortunate chance will smash together two very opposing ideas, and in such cases the result is catastrophic. This is largely why Ambivalence is such a dangerous state for one to be in. Powerful, conflicting thoughts. Anyways, when so many thoughts are abound, the only relief comes when the jagged corners of your mind “pop” those spheres flat, (somewhat cruelly at times), sending them falling down into the Abyss. Down and down they go, you see, nothing but carcasses of their former selves; their tragic remains having become nothing more than just the Fabric, with none of the Fury. Now you’ll have to allow me to clear up a small point here. When most people are confronted with the word Abyss, they assume said chasm is endless. Bottomless. Or something to the like. Although this Abyss of which I speak IS very deep, it is, as has been decided, by all means finite. Herein lays the problem.
How long can all these dead thoughts fall before that Abyss begins to fill I ponder to myself? I would suggest it takes much less long then is safe. Because, as it turns out, MY own mind is reaching a full point rapidly, and yet the thoughts continue to flow faster than ever. Fury and all. Dangerous force and rapid motion, all overheating my brain, fueled by a conflict that, as Fate would have it, is between Irony and Reality…

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What to do, what to do? I’ve racked my mind a thousand times with that question the past two weeks. Ha ha, and like I ever expected an answer. I can never answer my own questions. A personal curse it would seem. But this time I have no one to turn to for advice. Because this time EVERYONE, (all the worthy ones at least), seems to be involved. Too involved. And it’s left me lost.
Irony is all I’ve ever known, and my promises to her run deep. I don’t know if she could make it if I left. I don’t even know if I have strength enough that she’ll make it with me there. It may very well be a lost cause, but I owe it… I owe it to lost causes everywhere to give her the best chance I can. And I want to give her the chance, but it’s… by no means easy. It shouldn’t be I guess though. Especially for a self-proclaimed Guardian, one who puts all others before me. That burden I have taken on myself. Still, others have begun to suffer in this, besides me. Others that can’t be ignored. Who are too important to be ignored. I speak of Chaos and Reality chiefly.
What I thought I might be to either of them, I don't know now. What I would like to be, I can’t. In truth, Can’t seems to be the call word that permeates all thoughts of affection these days. And I don’t mind that it hurts me. I’m used to it. But to see it hurting them… is unbearable. And thus the Thoughts I spoke of, endless, Furious, and vast in number travel through my mind, filling it rapidly as I try to undo what I’ve done. To fix another grand mistake. Yet for all my struggles, no solution. Never my own solution. So, please, if you would… help me with this one. I’m only close to desperate ha ha…
Forever yours,
Perspective

Quote for the Day: “Because that is what it’s about, right? Preservation of life? Of life worth living, and love worth dying for?...”